Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Tired of these Senseless, Stupid, Dumb Ass Suicides


                Okay, once again I’ve had it.  Now I know that a lot of you are going to think I’m the absolute Devil for saying this but damn it, somebody’s gotta say it.  What’s up with these pansy assed kids killing themselves because somebody called them a name and bullied them?  No, no, no, don’t give me that bull about the bullies shouldn’t have hurt their feelings to the point where they feel like killing themselves.  Seriously, when have bullies ever been nice?  Kids have been dealing with bullies since the beginning of time and I’m pretty sure the majority of the bullied have survived.  So what the hell is wrong with these new age kids in 2012?

                Listen, I’m not cold hearted.  Really, I’m not.  I feel sorry for the parents of the kids who decided to off themselves.  But at the same time,  don’t you think suicide over being bullied is just a tad bit-well… dramatic? It’s so Edgar Allen Poe Goth Style.  “Oh nobody likes me!  Goodbye cruel world!”  Drama Queens aren’t we?

My first question goes to the parents.  Why didn’t you teach your kid to have some balls and man up?  I mean I was bullied as a kid a little bit.  Big hefty chicks pulling my hair or snotty nosed boys telling me I had big bug eyes or big dumpster truck lips.  Kinda harsh words and actions for a little elementary school kid to deal with.  And trust me, it didn’t make me feel good.  But I didn’t have time for the drama.  To the hefty chick who pulled my hair, I slapped the taste out of her mouth.  To the snotty nosed boys who made fun of my eyes and lips, I told them “eat your heart out ‘cause I’ll be gorgeous one day.”  To the assholes in high school who called me gay because I refused to sleep with them, ha!  I told them “sure, let me be gay then.  You’ll never get a taste of this!”  See how that was handled?  My mama never found me swinging from a noose or barricaded in the garage with the motor running.

                So what the hell is up with these tender hearted kids today?  I mean, let’s take stock here.  If a guy calls you a slut, honey, you’ve got two choices… or maybe three.  1. You can slap the hell out of him and probably be suspended and/or go to jail for assault.  Not the best choice, I admit, but hey, I bet he’d get the point.  2. If it’s true, you be the best slut you can be.  I mean, no sense being bad at something you actually are, right?  Might as well strive to be the best at whatever you do.  3. If it’s not true, then take comfort in knowing that it’s not true.  So what if people say it, you know yourself don’t you?  What difference does it make if little Laura Sue calls you a bitch?  If she wanted to call me a bitch, I’d show her what being a bitch was really all about.  Who cares if little Tommy Johnson said he banged you three ways from Sunday and now none of the guys like you?  Date someone else from a different school district.  If the girls wanna fight you and you know for sure that you can’t beat them, there’s no shame in pressing charges.  If you know they’re gunning for you, don’t worry about how it will look if you tell.  Hell, I’ll tell anybody, if you come messing with me and I’m not in the mood to fight you, I’m gonna sing like a Canary to the cops and your ass is going to jail.  And I’ll make sure I have at least two witnesses to me telling you this too so it’s clear to everybody that a. you were warned and b. if something happens to me, you did it and they know exactly who to come and get.  Simple as that.  I don’t have any shame whatsoever.  Call me a punk or a chicken, it’s cool.  But while you’re in jail being violated by some chick named Molly Mounds, I’ll still be on the outside doing me, enjoying life.

                It’s not about what other people think.  We spend so much time worrying about what others are going to think or say about us.  When did they start to matter?  Kids need to buck up and start worrying about grades and whether they are going to get into college.  Not whether someone is sitting around talking crazy about them.  Why do you even care if someone said something about you?  That whole “I just want the pain to end” bit, is old, tired, and a hot mess.  Get some self esteem, people!  Parents, teach your kids to stand up for themselves.

                My son is four years old and he comes crying to me, telling me so and so won’t share.  Okay… so why are you crying to me, I ask him.  You need to learn how to deal with the emotions you feel at being rejected.  It’s imperative that kids learn to cope with their emotions and move on.  Don’t cry to me because so and so won’t do this or that, or so and so said that.  So what?  How is that affecting your little four year old life?  It may sound harsh, but it’s a lesson that all kids today need to learn.  Yes, we need to hone in on the bullies and get them to stop but at the same time we need to strengthen the bullied as well.  There is no win in any game without a strong offense AND an especially strong DEFENSE.  If you don’t know how to stand up for yourself and your right to be an un-harassed human being, I just don’t know what to say.  But what I can say is that suicide isn’t the answer.  Suicide is about the dumbest, most selfish answer anybody ever had. 

Teach your kids.  Because if one more teen off’s herself because someone wrote slut on her locker, I think we need to arrest the parents of the deceased.  They didn’t teach their kid to say “So what, bitch!” and move on.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Dating Has Become a Horror Movie

You know, I didn’t want to turn this blog into a whinefest about my love life (or should I say the lack thereof), but quite honestly, I find that I am constantly amazed at how much the modern dating scene completely sucks.  I mean, I’m not the most desirable candidate in the world.  I can admit that but gee whiz, there should be someone out there for even me shouldn’t there? 
Now you’re probably saying to yourself, “come on Ari, why would you say you aren’t a desirable candidate?”  Well that’s an easy one.  For one, I’m a mother.  I have a four year old son so for most men, that’s an automatic out.  Two, I’m almost 30 and I find that even the older guys prefer the younger chicks.  Three, I’m tall… I guess even the tall guys like a shorty.  Four, I’m pretty independent and that’s because I have to be.  Because if I don’t pay these bills, who is gonna do it?  If I don’t pay this rent, it’s not like some man is going to show up with a check.  But as much as men say they like an independent woman, the truth is, they actually want someone who depends on them quite a bit.
                Now you see how that sounds contradictory?  That’s just what I’m talking about.  That makes no sense at all.  I can’t wrap my mind around it.  I’ve heard men complain and complain about women only wanting them for their money… golddiggers.  I hear them say, I want Miss Independent.  So, enter Miss Independent on the scene (that means moi) and bam!  Suddenly, it’s Ari, you’re too independent.  You don’t need a man.  You can handle your own.  Well damn!  I may not need him to pay my bills but can’t I just want one?  Is that not good enough?
                Then I hear guys say, I don’t want a hoe.  Okay, so you find a nice wholesome girl.  And then what?  Well he tries to turn her into a hoe.  He wants her to be his personal sex toy but she shouldnt have already been the personal sex toy to anyone else.  I don’t get that.  And why are you seeking out a nice wholesome girl to be your sex toy in the first place?  If you’re out there whoring around, shouldn’t you have a whore who is right up your alley?  Instead you want to put miles on the good girls.  Makes no sense to me.  But that’s the way they think.
                Then they say, I want someone I can relate to… who is gonna hold it down for me.  I want a nice girl.  Okay, Nice Girl (aka moi) enters the scene.  First thing you say is, “oh Ari, you’re such a nice girl. Oh Ari, you’re such a sweetheart!”  Sounds good right?  Sounds like he really likes you, then Bam!  You never hear from him again.  Why is that?  If you were so great and wonderful, what was the problem?  Why am I left scratching my head in confusion?  I swear it’s the kiss of death when a man tells me that I’m so nice and sweet.  I figure, what they really want is a bonafide bitch!  But then, aren’t they the same ones complaining that black women are too bitchy?  I don’t get it.  Makes no sense to me.
                So you see, I’m having the toughest time trying to understand what to do and what not to do when it comes to men.  I don’t understand how they think or how they operate.  Why is it that nothing they say fits with their actions and their actions fit with nothing they say?  Where is the instruction manual for this mess?  Seriously!  You meet a guy, you hit it off, you talk for weeks upon weeks, but he doesn’t want to move towards anything else.  He wants the booty, but nothing else.  He wants to vent all his problems to you,  oh yeah, and let’s not forget the booty, but anything else, fagetaboutit (in my Tony Soprano voice)!  If you mention having a relationship with him, you may as well have told him you had AIDs because he is out of there faster than a hooker running from a pimp she owes money.
                I do hope that at some point I will grow to understand… or God will intervene somehow, because I’m doing pretty shitty with dating right about now.  The more I date, the less I think I have a chance at marriage and having a daughter some day.  And the more cynical I become.  This is truly the problem with people today.  We’re all cynics… all jaded so much that we don’t believe in anything anymore.  I used to believe in love… now I’m not so sure.  What’s a girl to do?