Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Tired of these Senseless, Stupid, Dumb Ass Suicides


                Okay, once again I’ve had it.  Now I know that a lot of you are going to think I’m the absolute Devil for saying this but damn it, somebody’s gotta say it.  What’s up with these pansy assed kids killing themselves because somebody called them a name and bullied them?  No, no, no, don’t give me that bull about the bullies shouldn’t have hurt their feelings to the point where they feel like killing themselves.  Seriously, when have bullies ever been nice?  Kids have been dealing with bullies since the beginning of time and I’m pretty sure the majority of the bullied have survived.  So what the hell is wrong with these new age kids in 2012?

                Listen, I’m not cold hearted.  Really, I’m not.  I feel sorry for the parents of the kids who decided to off themselves.  But at the same time,  don’t you think suicide over being bullied is just a tad bit-well… dramatic? It’s so Edgar Allen Poe Goth Style.  “Oh nobody likes me!  Goodbye cruel world!”  Drama Queens aren’t we?

My first question goes to the parents.  Why didn’t you teach your kid to have some balls and man up?  I mean I was bullied as a kid a little bit.  Big hefty chicks pulling my hair or snotty nosed boys telling me I had big bug eyes or big dumpster truck lips.  Kinda harsh words and actions for a little elementary school kid to deal with.  And trust me, it didn’t make me feel good.  But I didn’t have time for the drama.  To the hefty chick who pulled my hair, I slapped the taste out of her mouth.  To the snotty nosed boys who made fun of my eyes and lips, I told them “eat your heart out ‘cause I’ll be gorgeous one day.”  To the assholes in high school who called me gay because I refused to sleep with them, ha!  I told them “sure, let me be gay then.  You’ll never get a taste of this!”  See how that was handled?  My mama never found me swinging from a noose or barricaded in the garage with the motor running.

                So what the hell is up with these tender hearted kids today?  I mean, let’s take stock here.  If a guy calls you a slut, honey, you’ve got two choices… or maybe three.  1. You can slap the hell out of him and probably be suspended and/or go to jail for assault.  Not the best choice, I admit, but hey, I bet he’d get the point.  2. If it’s true, you be the best slut you can be.  I mean, no sense being bad at something you actually are, right?  Might as well strive to be the best at whatever you do.  3. If it’s not true, then take comfort in knowing that it’s not true.  So what if people say it, you know yourself don’t you?  What difference does it make if little Laura Sue calls you a bitch?  If she wanted to call me a bitch, I’d show her what being a bitch was really all about.  Who cares if little Tommy Johnson said he banged you three ways from Sunday and now none of the guys like you?  Date someone else from a different school district.  If the girls wanna fight you and you know for sure that you can’t beat them, there’s no shame in pressing charges.  If you know they’re gunning for you, don’t worry about how it will look if you tell.  Hell, I’ll tell anybody, if you come messing with me and I’m not in the mood to fight you, I’m gonna sing like a Canary to the cops and your ass is going to jail.  And I’ll make sure I have at least two witnesses to me telling you this too so it’s clear to everybody that a. you were warned and b. if something happens to me, you did it and they know exactly who to come and get.  Simple as that.  I don’t have any shame whatsoever.  Call me a punk or a chicken, it’s cool.  But while you’re in jail being violated by some chick named Molly Mounds, I’ll still be on the outside doing me, enjoying life.

                It’s not about what other people think.  We spend so much time worrying about what others are going to think or say about us.  When did they start to matter?  Kids need to buck up and start worrying about grades and whether they are going to get into college.  Not whether someone is sitting around talking crazy about them.  Why do you even care if someone said something about you?  That whole “I just want the pain to end” bit, is old, tired, and a hot mess.  Get some self esteem, people!  Parents, teach your kids to stand up for themselves.

                My son is four years old and he comes crying to me, telling me so and so won’t share.  Okay… so why are you crying to me, I ask him.  You need to learn how to deal with the emotions you feel at being rejected.  It’s imperative that kids learn to cope with their emotions and move on.  Don’t cry to me because so and so won’t do this or that, or so and so said that.  So what?  How is that affecting your little four year old life?  It may sound harsh, but it’s a lesson that all kids today need to learn.  Yes, we need to hone in on the bullies and get them to stop but at the same time we need to strengthen the bullied as well.  There is no win in any game without a strong offense AND an especially strong DEFENSE.  If you don’t know how to stand up for yourself and your right to be an un-harassed human being, I just don’t know what to say.  But what I can say is that suicide isn’t the answer.  Suicide is about the dumbest, most selfish answer anybody ever had. 

Teach your kids.  Because if one more teen off’s herself because someone wrote slut on her locker, I think we need to arrest the parents of the deceased.  They didn’t teach their kid to say “So what, bitch!” and move on.