Well hello again ladies! Yes it’s me! About to bring you yet another blog post full of my thoughts and opinions in regard to men. I know that I talked a lot about Blind Support in a couple of my other posts, but I never really went into extensive detail as to what that is. And no, it doesn’t mean you’ll be needing a Seeing Eye Dog. I do, however, think it is something that you need to do if you are in a relationship, or hope to have a successful one. Let’s get this show on the road and see what’s what!
The Guy Chronicles No. 4: If Batman is Flying Blind, You Better Be Too!
So if your guy is Batman, (and if you love him, he damn well better be just that cool to you that you think of him that way), then you have to have complete trust and faith in him. That means that without question, without fail, you need to back him up 100% even if you aren’t sure of what he’s doing. You have to blindly support him and that’s just the reality of the situation. Now you’ve probably just rolled your eyes so hard that they’re stuck in your head and frowned so much that your face looks like crumpled paper. I get it, I know… Don’t think that I don’t. That sounds CRAZY to blindly support somebody. I mean, he could be doing anything. But just the same, you have to have faith that he knows what he's doing.
So let's take stock here with an example. Suppose you’re not with the guy, and he’s treated you like a jerk. Maybe he was good at basketball and finally got accepted to a semi pro team. You still love him or still think of him like a friend, but the jerk left you for a leaner, meaner, sexier version of you as soon as he signed those papers. Screw him right? Sure! Screw him!! What do you care about what’s going on in his life? Except,maybe you do. (Now this isn’t for every girl because every girl won’t do this. But if you loved the asshole and still have love for him, it doesn’t hurt to offer support sometimes.) Now say due to his nerves, he has a rough couple of games. He’s doing badly, and you can tell from his Facebook statuses that maybe he’s depressed. (He’s not going to come right out and say he’s depressed because he’s a man, but you having loved the jerk can tell when something is bothering him without him even saying so). So you decide, that as a friend, you’ll go see him play. So you go to the game. He’s got the ball, and he’s making bad passes, not getting rebounds, and missing layups. You can see the anguish all over his face as he sweats profusely trying to prove himself. That leaner, meaner, sexier you he has is looking disgusted. She didn’t sign up to be with a loser.
So what do you do? Next time he has the ball, stand up and yell out “Let’s Go!” Show that you’re hyped that he has the ball! Smile so big and bright that it lights up that court. When he sees you there, blindly supporting him (because he knows damn well he doesn’t deserve it), it will change everything about what he’s doing. You’ll breathe new life into him. And whether he wins or loses, he’ll be a winner that day. Now he may not dump Leaner Meaner Sexier You in order to get back with you (or he might, who knows), but he damn sure will have something to think about and will appreciate it.
Now that’s just an example of what that does for an asshole guy that you’re not even with. If Blind Support can do that for Asshole Guy, imagine what it can do for your Batman- the man worthy of your Blind Support (even when he’s being a jerk). Imagine how much respect and appreciation he will have for you as his Lady when he realizesexactly who he has in front of him. Someone not with him for money, or for material things, or because he is fine as hell... He has someone there with him just because he is him and will support him when he deserves it and especially when he doesn’t. That right there is Gold, my friends. That right there is what keeps em coming home at night. At least I think so…
I really do think that Blind Support goes hand in hand with my previous blog post, #HomeTeam. It’s all the same stuff, just broken down differently. It’s just another form of respect and love. It shows that you are down for the cause. Ride or Die… (hopefully not die, but if it came down to it who knows). I know forme, as much as I detest confrontation, if I am with a guy and I love the hell out of him, no one is ever going to get in my man’s face without me right beside him giving it right back. I may not know what he did, or who he did it to, but it doesn’t matter because I know that he’s a good guy (and let’s pray that you’ve picked a good one) and no one is going to disrespect him on my watch! Now if he tells you he can handle it (and most times he will), then let him handle it. He’s a man after all and it’s written in his DNA to handle things alone, but that doesn’t mean that you’re off the hook. No. You need to be very aware of what’s going on and ready to get in there and go for it with him if need be. That’s how you need to think of it.
So many ladies out there want that protection from their guy, but don’t understand that though it isn’t always needed, men need protection too. The Queen protects the King- The King protects the Queen- The Kingdom stands forever, that’s how I look at it. And you can’t be afraid to do that. You can’t be afraid to trust him and have faith in him to the point that you can blindly say, “you know what, I’ve got your back,” because if you chose wisely, and he’s worth it, then he deserves to have that part of you. He deserves you right there beside him because if it were you, he would be right there with you. That’s how you build a strong foundation that is unshakable by even the most damaging of life events. Mutual Blind Support makes you and your Batman a power couple. So start charging that relationship up!
Now I’m not saying that you have to go along with every little thing that he does. No, that would be nuts. He’s not going to always have great ideas, and if you two are as deep as you should be, there is a way to tell him that without belittling him. You aren’t a doormat either, so don’t go thinking that that means you have to agree with everything. No. You are still a fluid human being with common sense, intelligence, and a will of your own. This advice of Blind Support is just a way to incorporate some of your man’s needs into your relationship so that it can be stronger. He does need to know that you have hisback, but that doesn’t mean that if he goes out there and picks a fight with a whole motorcycle gang that you’re supposed to grab a Baretta and start busting off. I mean you could, but that’s a great way to end up in jail… or in a casket, whichever comes first. Nobody is saying to support him through that. Everything within moderation and reason. If he’s a good guy, he’ll never put you in a messed up situation. If the love he has for you is pure and true and deep where he respects you, your well being, and your submission (in a sense) to him, it’s okay to step out on that faith and blindly support him. He’s not going to put you in harm’s way.
So let’s try to incorporate this notion into our relationships, Ladies, and make things better and stronger. Don’t go screaming and yelling like a banshee at Khalil because he got laid off today. You might be pissed. Might want to ask a million questions, but don’t At least not right away. Give him dinner, run his bath, massage him down and make him comfy and relaxed. He had a hard day after all. When he is ready to speak on the event (and he damn well better speak on it cause it’s a big blow to your household), be there to listen, encourage, uplift and love. Breathe new life into him. That’s Blind Support. And that’s what every relationship needs. Operation Get and Keep That Man is now in process! Tootles!
Arielle L. Crowell